“Do all that You can to live in peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18 (NLT)
Back when I was in college, one of my professors said something that I still think about more than twenty years later.
I was taking a class on interpersonal relationships, and we were discussing biblical ways of dealing with conflict. My professor went up to the whiteboard and drew a rudimentary picture of a pie. She then carved up the pie into a few slices; some slices were bigger than others.
Turning to our class, she said, “Picture a conflict you’ve had with someone in your life and this pie represents the issue you’re dealing with. Now imagine them on one side of the pie and you on the other side. Notice how both sides have slices of the pie; some slices are big, and some are small. Each person on either side owns one or more slices of the pie. Before you can address the other person’s slices, you must first address your slice of the ‘problem pie.’”
A lightbulb suddenly turned on for me during that early morning lecture. I realized in that moment that I could only take responsibility for my slice of the pie. I couldn’t control what they did; I can only control what I do.
When the apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:18 to “do all that you can to live in peace with everyone,” he’s saying that, before we walk away from a relationship, we should make sure we’ve done everything we can to make things right on our end.
Doing all you can to live in peace with others doesn’t guarantee that things will turn out the way you hoped. Rather, it means that, when you do all you are able to do, however things turn out, you can have peace in knowing you did your best and you can trust God with whatever happens next.
Before you can address the other person’s slices, you must first address your slice of the “problem pie.”
Tip of the Day
Choose one relationship that’s been challenging for you right now, get alone with Jesus, and ask Him to show you what the next right step for you to take in that relationship is.
Prayer
Dear God, I’ve really been struggling in my relationship with ________________. I know I can’t control them; I can only control what I do. Please show me what steps You would like me to take next and give me the love and the courage to take those steps in this season. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Pause and Reflect
Can you recall a specific conflict in your life where you initially focused on the other person’s actions rather than examining your own slice of the “problem pie”?
How does the concept of addressing your own slice of the issue before attempting to address the other person’s slices align with the biblical principle of seeking peace in relationships (Romans 12:18)?
Reflecting on the tip of the day, what practical steps can you take to seek guidance from Jesus in dealing with a challenging relationship?
