“Your relationships, they matter. They’re important. They’re important enough to prioritize. God gave us people in our lives for a reason and to help us building community. And I think sometimes because we have social media, we feel like we have community, we’re looking at community, but it’s not the same thing as being in community and relationship with one another,“ Sadie Robertson-Huff adding, “I think a lot of people fear relationships because they’re hard and they’re messy.” Her advice? “If you put God first in your life, then all of your relationships will be better, and be blessed.” She urges people to consider “God’s view of relationship and community.”
To help make this do-able, Sadie and her husband, Christian, have put together their first jointly-written book, “How to Put Love First.”
Many have the wrong concept of what love is
To set a baseline, “Love is not teddy bears and roses and chocolates and Valentine’s Day, and it’s not The Batchelor, getting a rose at a rose ceremony.” Sadie feels, “If love is only available to those type people and those situations, then it certainly is not the most powerful thing in the world. But love is so much bigger than that. In 1 John, it says ‘God is love.’” That love, Agape love, does not have barriers. It’s “available to everyone.” She says, “Your relationship with God is how you really find what true love is – and then, from there you get the blessing of relationships with people. That is an overflow.”
Their own ups & downs
Sadie and Christian are now married four years with two children. The couple has grown a lot in their faith and abilities to be compassionate, honest, and patient with one another. And, yes, there are some occasional disagreements, like any married couple will experience.
How do they process a difference of opinion, an argument?
“You know the bible talks about ‘do not let the sun go down on your anger,’” explains Christian, “We always try to resolve it before we go to bed. That is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes it can be very difficult, but we try to always settle a disagreement before we go to bed because it can be easy to suppress things and push them down, and maybe push them aside, and say you’ll get to it at some point, but you never really address the issue. So, we always try to address it in the moment, but we’re not perfect at arguments by any means. But we are very open and honest, and we especially communicate really well – kind of where we’re at.” And Sadie jumped in to share a thought. “It’s just like there has to be a lot of vulnerability. Christian and I have learned, after just four years of marriage … I think it’s pride, right? Right. That tells you not to say the thing that’s really going on. Right? You might have a bad attitude, a bad tone – and you don’t want to say what’s really bothering you because maybe it’s vulnerable. Maybe it’s embarrassing. Maybe it’s whatever. And what I realized recently is the more vulnerable you are, and you just share the truth, it really bonds you together, because you are on the same team … and just being honest about where you’re at.”
Both Sadie and Christian understand the importance of forgiveness in their own marriage, and with other people. We posed the question, ‘Does forgiving also mean forgetting?’ Learn what their thoughts are on that tough topic in our complete podcast interview just below.
